Updated: Sep 30
Heartbreak, betrayal, disappointment, hurt feelings, insensitive comments, selfish behavior, we all have experienced the hurt feelings caused by others.
I laugh out loud now when I think about the time a therapist told me that the first step in recovering from divorce was to forgive my ex.
My immediate response was, "That won't be happening."
It took a little while, but eventually, I forgave. I doubt he has any idea because it changed nothing for him, but my outlook on life was profoundly affected. Since then I have come to realize how significant the act of forgiveness can be. Like you, I've had a lot of hurts over the years. It can be very hard to forgive, but holding onto those hurts keeps us feeling sad, bitter, and resentful. Sometimes women will say to me, "I want to be strong and confident, I have goals I want to reach, but cannot seem to move forward. I'm stuck." They often think they are lazy and disorganized, not realizing that unhealed emotions are a big part of what is preventing success.
If you're holding onto hurt right now, I know that it's tempting to resist the idea of forgiveness. It's not fun to face.
Feelings of love, peace, joy, freedom, creativity, passion, and abundance can't thrive when crowded out by
bitterness, resentment, anger, and fear.
Today is a beautiful full moon and an ideal moment to create space in your life for love, peace, joy, and abundance.
My clients tell me they feel more free, creative, and confident after they have let go and forgiven. I do, and I bet you will too!
I bet you can immediately name at least 5 experiences that still cause you pain even if they happened years ago. I encourage you to write down these experiences on a sheet of paper. Don't write this in your journal, this isn't something we want to keep and revisit. You've done enough of that already. 😉
I bet It will be easy for you to create a list of former lovers, co-workers, and friends, but go deeper. Throughout your life, who has truly angered you?
adults in authority
movie and game makers
YIKES that can feel heavy, but stay with me, because this works if you give it a chance.
Write out the acts that hurt you
Write how they made you feel
Go outside or open a window
Read aloud what you've written and follow it with a statement that feels authentic to you. I say, "Holding onto these feelings brings additional harm. Today, I release this pain from my heart, body, and soul. I embrace a new beginning."
Now, destroy the paper (this symbolic gesture is important). If you are indoors, use a shredder or tear the paper up and take it out to the trash. If you are outdoors and can be safe, burn the paper or dispose of it in a way that will not cause further harm. As you are destroying the paper, say out loud, "I forgive ______, and release this experience. May we all become the best versions of ourselves."
Letting go of the pain and resentment allows you to heal, regain control of your emotional health, and find peace again. You don’t have to condone acts that have caused harm, but you don’t have to let those memories control you either. 💕
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