Should you STAY or GO? Tough Decisions about Jobs and Relationships
If you want to make a change in your life, but are waiting for someone else to do something to make the change easier, you may be stuck in a job or relationship far longer than necessary.
For some reason, we think that we are obligated to stay in situations that clearly don't make us happy.
People stay in uncomfortable situations for years, just waiting for an excuse to leave.
My advice...not all relationships were meant to last a lifetime, so stop trying to force that. If you're unhappy, chances are the others in that situation are also wanting change, but don't want to be the first to speak up.
In this week's Monday Morning Mastermind video, I'll give you some ideas on how to face these big decisions. And remember, if you're struggling with making a big choice, and want to talk with a coach, you can schedule a mini-coaching session with me here.
Remember this: Things don't have to be horrible or unbearable in order for you to make a change.
Just imagine that you admitted how you felt and things shifted into a new situation where everyone was happier?
That CAN HAPPEN when everyone knows the truth, and we focus on solutions instead of avoiding uncomfortable conversations.
So many people are unhappy or dissatisfied with their situation, but not miserable enough to take on change. I have always said that "not miserable" is a horrible place to be.
What if you stopped waiting for an excuse and admitted the truth instead? You may hurt someone's feelings briefly, but you also may find that they are also dissatisfied and want a change, OR you might find that they are willing to make changes for you.
When you catch yourself saying, "I wish I could_____ but I can't because _____."
Pause and begin a new thought that begins with: The truth is...
You'll never know what could happen unless you begin by admitting the truth.
How would you complete these sentences:
I'm unhappy with ____.
What are the options?
____ is really frustrating.
Things have gotten very routine and I would like to _____.
I've always wanted to try_____.
I've always planned to _______.
These kinds of statements open up possibilities, keeping quiet never will.
Here are some other "truths" you can rely on when you need to face a difficult or awkward change:
I don't like this situation.
This isn't what I signed up for.
This isn't what we agreed on.
I think my time here is coming to an end soon.
It's time for me to move on.
There are other possibilities for me.
Making life and career changes are big decisions, and that can be scary, so it is understandable if you want to prolong things and stay where things are safe and predictable.
But if you are longing for something different, if you've been feeling unhappy, frustrated, and unfulfilled, I want to encourage you to make changes sooner rather than later.
You don't have to hate someone, be betrayed by them, or have anything horrible happen to justify making a change. You want something different is a good enough reason.
If you want to talk with a coach about a change that you're facing, schedule a time with me here.