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Having trouble saying no? Here's how I overcame the YES syndrome.

Updated: Apr 8

WARNING: Learning to say no to the things that don't serve you may result in unfamiliar peaceful feelings as well as an acceleration in productivity.

There was a time in my life when I said yes to almost everything. Not because I felt obligated, but because I enjoyed being involved, active, and needed. I was very proud of my busy life, my jammed calendar, and my "importance" to others. When others depended on my expertise, energy, and enthusiasm it made me feel worthwhile and needed. At that time, feeling worthwhile was more important to me than being paid.

My enthusiasm and dedication led to over-commitment, overwork, and over-exhaustion. I ignored the subtle signs from my body and pushed through the long days and short nights. Eventually, my body had enough and I became critically ill, depending on the help of a home care nurse, friends, and neighbors to care for my family. My illness dragged on for months. THINGS HAD TO CHANGE.

These habits had been nurtured for a long time, though, and it wasn't easy to change. I slipped up several times and even got sick again. But eventually, I mastered the art of saying NO without actually saying no. (It's important to me to be seen as polite, too. 😁)

Since I had trained people that they could count on me to do their work and mine 24/7, there was some resistance to my new habits and the next two years were a bit of a roller coaster, but all worked out for the best.

If you've never heard my story of rising, falling, falling, falling and rising again, you'll enjoy this workshop.

In this video, I share some funny stories of discovery and change. Prepare to laugh, possibly cry, but for sure be inspired and motivated.



Secret Tip: The best ideas start about 30 minutes in and the recap of all six tips happens at 46 minutes in. The handout that is mentioned is available to download below.

This workshop is worth watching to the end.

Here's one of the most important things I've learned in my life:

We don't have to be frantic.

We also don't have to be governed by a rigidly structured schedule.

Remember, when you can get good at saying no to the things that drain your time and energy, you get to spend time doing the important work you've been called to do. That work will leave a mark on this world.

It took some time but I figured out an ideal schedule that works for my energy level, work style, and my dream life and business. I bet you can too. #bethtoldme

TIP: remember, if you've been saying YES to everyone and everything, these habits can be hard to change. It takes time. You might slip up as I did. When that happens, go easy on yourself.

It gets easier, I promise. XO

Want even more tips? Get the book here.

Interested in joining my new mastermind accelerator for women? We meet every Monday at 11am ET. Get the details here.

Right click this image to download the handout mentioned in the video. This article originally appeared in Soar to Success Magazine and THRIVE Global.

I hope you get the chance to say NO today. Let me know how that goes. XO

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